Here’s something I don’t really like: driving a golf cart around the college campus I work on. This comes as something of a shock. I always thought I’d really enjoy it. But in my college fantasies, it was warmer and faster. I was zipping around other students, jolting forward to cut off slow walkers, screeching out "Scatter!" as i recklessly barreled into groups of people blocking my way.
It’s not like that. Petal-to-the-metal speed is maybe 5 miles per hour. I feel embarrassed knowing that anyone could out-jog me. It makes me feel more lazy than anything else. “Yeah, I could be walking this fast. But I’m wasting gasoline and riding instead.” Like some eccentric competitor in a lame version of the Amazing Race.
Is that how people in motorized scooters at Target feel? When I dart around them to grab a box of Special K, have I been unintentionally flaunting the speed of my gait, not to mention my reasonable turning radius?
"Creepin' along on scooters!"
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